What is co-sleeping?
During pregnancy, visions of the perfect nursery likely filled your dreams, with a beautiful crib where your little cherub would sleep peacefully. That sounds wonderful, but sorry expecting moms, unfortunately most babies hate their cribs.
In reality, infants don’t care about the cute nursery décor you’ve carefully selected, they really just want you, mama. Actually, your baby will want to be on you. The modern western construct of babies sleeping in a crib in their own room is incompatible with their innate needs as infants. Babies want and need to be as close as possible to their parents (especially their mother), in order to ensure their survival.
This is where co-sleeping come in. Co-sleeping involves parents sleeping within close proximity to their baby, so that each can respond to each other’s sensory signals. This may involve room sharing or bed sharing.
“The modern western construct of babies sleeping in a crib in their own room is incompatible with their innate needs as infants. Babies want and need to be as close as possible to their parents (especially their mother), in order to ensure their survival.”
Natural brood
How common is co-sleeping?
Before I became a mother, I was programmed by mainstream culture to think that co-sleeping was not only unsafe, but also unnecessary and indulgent. Oh, how I was misinformed! While some parents may not like to admit it, co-sleeping is in fact taking place more often that acknowledged. A 2023 survey by the UK’s Lullaby Trust found that 9 in 10 parents co-slept with their baby.
Once our baby came and wanted milk throughout the night, co-sleeping quickly became the only solution. If you are on the fence about co-sleeping, below are a few benefits to the ancient practice.
The benefits of co-sleeping
1. Bonding and Attachment: Strengthen the parent-child bond through close proximity, fostering a secure attachment.
Snuggling with your baby all night long fuels oxytocin release and in turn, cements strong attachment between parent and child. If you aren’t with your child all day, co-sleeping at night may be a way to strengthen and repair your attachment.
2. Fun, motherhood bliss: While nighttime parenting can be a challenge, co-sleeping brings joy into the equation.
I will never forget the sweet moments of sleeping next to my child, or hearing her early morning chatter. I would miss all those special moments if she were by herself in her own room!
3. Happier Baby: No crying, no fear.
Your baby will LOVE sleeping in mom and dad’s bed. Being next to you all night long is their dream. They don’t need to wake up alone and afraid, crying out to you in a scary dark room. Trust me, your baby will be so excited for bed time if it means sleeping with you.
4. Facilitates Breastfeeding: Nighttime nursing becomes more convenient, supporting successful breastfeeding for mothers.
There is no easier way to feed your baby at night than to sleep right next to them. Bolster your milk supply by nursing at night (see the science behind this in my post on nursing to sleep), and both mother and baby fall asleep more quickly.
5. Promotes Better Sleep: Proximity to parents provides comfort, leading to more restful sleep and regulating vital signs.
No more trips down the hall to your baby’s nursery in the middle of the night are needed if your baby is right next to you in bed. Your baby will be comforted within seconds, and will fall back asleep quickly with your immediate attention. Mom will fall back asleep more easily too, without having to get out of bed.
6. Easier Monitoring: Co-sleeping simplifies keeping a vigilant eye on your baby’s well-being, especially in the crucial early months.
Breastfeeding mothers are acutely in tune with their infants, and sleeping right beside them all night enables moms to respond to their cues immediately. When co-sleeping with my baby, I seem to wake up before she does, somehow innately sensing when she will need me.
Safety considerations
It is important to learn how to co-sleep safely.
Safe Sleep Surfaces:
Opt for a firm mattress with tight-fitting sheets, minimizing suffocation risks. Avoid soft bedding, pillows, and stuffed animals.
Prevent accidental falls by installing a bed rail. We used this bed rail and can sleep soundly knowing that our baby won’t fall off the bed.
No Smoking or Drinking:
Maintain a smoke-free environment, steering clear of substances (including alcohol) that could hinder your responsiveness.
Moderate Room Temperature:
Maintain a comfortable temperature to prevent overheating. Dress your baby in light sleepwear and avoid heavy blankets.
Follow your instincts
Co-sleeping can be a beautiful way to strengthen the parent-child relationship and create sweet memories. I will always treasure our nights together, knowing that I was there for my child when she needed it the most.